___       __                __   ___         ___         
 /\     \ / |__   /\  |__)    | |\ |    |__) |__  \  / | |__  |  |    
/--\     |  |___ /--\ |  \    | | \|    |  \ |___  \/  | |___ |/\| ...
Last January I had a creative epiphany of sorts that eventually led to me creating this blog. My inner voice and creative muse came back to kiss my ear like waves kiss the shoreline, singing promises of a new me, a new self to become in the following year. And thus I went and put together a list of things I wanted to achieve or avoid in 2023, which has been an utter failure, to say the least. So... let's reflect on that? The first thought I wrote down in my notes was:

2023 better be the year where i stop giving a shit. like spiritually. stop performing.

Followed by keywords: more authenticity, severance, female friendships; less mirrors and red strings, less larping and pandering. Well. Didn't exactly turn out as good as we thought it would, right? In fact, quite the opposite. I did end up giving a shit and performing and lived through 2023 as an anxious, self-conscious mess.

Other than endlessly gazing at myself in the mirror and playing the manic pixie dream girl, I spent the better part of the year caught up in red strings of situationships and a life-changing sequence of events. Except that the lives permanently changed weren't mine. Heh. I still can't help but feel a smug sense of superiority over what happened, even though I really, *really* shouldn't. I admittedly do experience immense satisfaction from ruining the lives of men going after me, and I don't think that's ever going to change.

Let's focus on the things we can and will change. I kickstarted my self-improvement journey by giving myself somewhat of a detox and starting to delve into more long-form content, and I'd like to continue doing that. Here's some mantras for the following year I'd like to follow:

do at least one unpleasant thing each day
get comfortable with the uncomfortable
take care of the space you occupy
slow the fuck down

As for the practicalities, here's a few solid goals that are almost impossible to fail:

exercise/stretch as much as you can, as often as your body and time allows for it
dedicate my free time to finishing the javascript course and getting qualifications
try replacing short-form dopamine slop with long-form content
eat food slowly and consciously
uuhhh wip to be continued